The Truth About People Who Stay Childfree (2024)

The Truth About People Who Stay Childfree (1)

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How many adults don’t have kids because they don’t want them? Some earlier studies, based on data from more than a decade ago, suggested that the answer was fewer than 10 percent. Previous investigations, though, sometimes included only women and occasionally only married women. Sometimes only women of childbearing age were included. Also, people who could not have kids for biological reasons, such as infertility, were sometimes automatically classified as childless, ignoring the possibility that some did not want children and therefore should have been classified as childfree.

In a study just published at Plos One, “Prevalence and characteristics of childfree adults in Michigan (USA),” Jennifer Watling Neal and Zachary P. Neal of Michigan State University distinguished childfree adults from childless adults, parents, and people planning to be parents. They compared the four groups on their satisfaction with their lives, their political ideology, and their personalities. They also looked at whether the childfree adults differed by marital status, gender, or race. In addition, they asked people in each of the groups how warmly they felt toward childfree women and men.

The participants were a representative sample of 981 Michigan adults, including both men and women. Their average age was 52.

Identifying the Childfree, Childless, Parents, and Adults Planning to Be Parents

The researchers classified the adults into four groups based on their answers to three questions:

1. “Do you have, or have you ever had, any biological or adopted children?

People who answered yes were the parents.

2. “Do you plan to have any biological or adopted children in the future?”

The people who answered yes to this question after answering no to the first were classified as planning to have children.

3. “Do you wish you had or could have biological or adopted children?”

The people who answered yes to this question after answering no to the first two were classified as childless.

The childfree were the people who answered no to all three questions.

How the Childfree Differed—or Did Not Differ—from the Other Adults

More than one-quarter of the adults (27 percent) were childfree. More than half of the adults were parents (54 percent). Another 12 percent planned to have biological or adopted children in the future. The remaining 8 percent were childless—they didn’t have children, but they wish they could.

The percentage of childfree adults was much higher in this study than in earlier studies that were limited in important ways. Pew Research Center data from 2018, though, also suggested a high rate of childfree adults. Among those who did not already have kids, 23 percent said they were not likely to have kids because they did not want kids.

Only people in Michigan participated in this study. Michigan, though, is similar to the overall U.S. population in race, age, income, and education.

More than half of the childfree adults (54 percent) had always been single.

A substantial share of the childfree adults (35 percent) had a romantic partner—they were either married, remarried, or had a partner but were not married. The other 11 percent of the childfree adults were previously married (divorced, separated, or widowed).

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Similar percentages of childfree adults were men (51 percent) and women (49 percent).

But the percentage of men among the childfree was greater than it was for the entire sample or for the parents. Across all the people in the study, 42 percent were men, and 58 percent were women. Among just the parents in the study, the proportions were the same: 42 percent were men, and 58 percent were women.

The childfree included the same proportion of people of color as the entire sample of participants.

Across all of the people in the study, 77 percent were white, and 23 percent were people of color. Among just the childfree, the percentages were 78 percent and 22 percent, respectively.

The childfree did not differ in personality from the other groups of adults.

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When the childfree were compared to the people in the other groups who were similar to them in age, education, and other potentially relevant ways, they were similar in their extraversion, openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and neuroticism.

The childfree were more politically liberal than the parents.

On average, the childfree were center-left politically. The parents were more conservative.

The childfree were just as satisfied with their lives as everyone else.

When the childfree were compared to the people in the other groups who were similar to them in age, education, and other potentially relevant ways, they were just as satisfied with their lives as the childless, the people planning to have children, and the parents.

Judging the Childfree

All of the other groups felt less warmly toward the childfree than the childfree felt toward one another.

When the childfree adults were asked to report how warmly they felt toward other childfree adults on a 100-point scale on which 100 is the warmest rating, they said they felt warm. Their average warmth rating was 73. When the others rated the childfree, though, they said they felt less warmly. On average, the parents, childless, and those planning to have children rated the childfree—both the childfree women and the childfree men—about 66.

What did the childfree do to warrant that cool reception? They were not complaining about not having kids; it was their choice.

That, though, was the problem. Adults are supposed to want kids. That’s what is expected and what is celebrated. Defy that cultural mandate, and you just may find yourself the target of a particular kind of negative reaction: moral outrage.

The same thing happens to people who stay single because they want to be single. They are evaluated more harshly than single people pining for a partner. Other people are more likely to feel angry at them. We’re all supposed to head down the path of marrying and having kids. We don’t have to, of course, but if we don’t, we will be judged.

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The Truth About People Who Stay Childfree (2024)

FAQs

What is the regret rate for childfree people? ›

A prevalent belief regarding the child-free choice is the potential for regret later in life. The study, however, found no substantial evidence to support this. Older child-free adults do not experience more life regret than older parents.

Do more people regret having children or not having children? ›

And in 2023, a study estimated that up to 5% to 14% of parents in so-called developed countries, including the United States, regret their decision to have children. These studies align with what I've found in my personal life: While most parents don't regret having kids, some do.

What are the psychological effects of not having a child? ›

The most frequently mentioned effects are distress, raised depression and anxiety levels, lowered self-esteem, feelings of blame and guilt, somatic complaints, and reduced sexual interest.

Why do people call childfree selfish? ›

Most societies place a high value on parenthood in adult life, so that people who remain childfree are sometimes stereotyped as selfish, self-absorbed, or unwilling to take on responsibility. Some are deemed too career-focused, although this is not necessarily true.

Are people happier with or without kids? ›

A study from Princeton University and Stony Brook University found that parents and nonparents have similar levels of life satisfaction, but parents experienced both more daily joy and more daily stress than nonparents. “Life without children is simply much more stable,” Glass says.

Which gender is more childfree? ›

With the youngest ages as an exception, males have a higher proportion of childlessness than females.

What is depleted mother syndrome? ›

What is Mom Burnout? Mom burnout sometimes called depleted mother syndrome, is the feeling of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion, depersonalization, and lack of fulfillment caused by intense child care demands. Burnout is the result of too much stress and a lack of resources for coping with it.

Are people happier after having kids? ›

Essentially, the evidence we have suggests that having children can make you happier. It also can make you feel unhappy, or constantly stressed, or anxious, and so on. Overall, it seems like having children makes your emotional experiences more intense than if you don't have them.

What are childless couples called? ›

"DINK" is an acronym that stands for "double income, no kids" or "dual income, no kids", referring to couples who are voluntarily childless.

What happens to your body if you never have children? ›

Research shows that not having kids can raise the risk of certain health issues, like breast cancer. However, having kids can also raise the risk of cardiovascular disease for some women, and in others it can lead to chronic pain.

Is life lonely without kids? ›

Also, remember, not having a child can be lonely.

We are social beings, and we do crave company. So it can often feel like it is you and your partner, up against the world. Our society is so tuned into seeing a couple with kids, that when people see one without any, they don't know how to fit them into their lives.

What are the disadvantages of having no children? ›

The major disadvantages are lack of companionship/being alone/loneliness, lack of support and care when older, and missing the experience of parenthood.

Does anyone regret being childfree? ›

Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but they're in the minority. An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.

Are childfree couples happy? ›

The American Sociological Association recently conducted a study on this very topic and found that parents are more likely to be depressed than their childfree counterparts. In fact, people without kids were happier than any other group, including empty nesters.

What do you call a woman without children? ›

There's no word that describes a woman who hasn't had children, except the opposite of mother or absence of children. Barren. Childfree. Childless.

Do childfree couples regret? ›

Turns out they're all pretty happy with their decisions. “[W]e found no evidence that older child-free adults experience any more life regret than older parents,” Jennifer Watling Neal, the co-author of the study, said in a statement.

What percentage of people regret children? ›

The team of researchers who conducted the study highlighted past research showing that regret over having children isn't rare or unheard of, as 5-14% of parents have this feeling.

What percentage of people don't want to have kids? ›

When asked about having children, 51% of young adults who are not parents say they would like to have children one day. Three-in-ten say they're not sure, and 18% say they don't want to have children.

What is the disadvantage of being childfree? ›

Feelings of loneliness can worsen as you get older. Couples who don't have children, don't have someone who can be relied on to take care of them in their old age. Negative stigma from society and even their own family can create opportunities for social pressure to arise for childless couples.

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